DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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