Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
