I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize