I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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