stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
