is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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