I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
