why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
