I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
