I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
