you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
