never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
