no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
