what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
