Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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