found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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