And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
