When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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