google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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