Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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