Banned from zoo.
Again?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
