evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Less talking, more tequila
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
