Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
