he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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