i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
