Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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