You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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