Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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