I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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