You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
