please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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