Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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