Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hello my rib-scented angel!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
