Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
