GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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