Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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