i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
