what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
