well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Randomize
