I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
