After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
