He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
