I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
