your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
