in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
