I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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