Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
