Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
