is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
