my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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