You're my little dorito
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We got so high we made milksteak
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize