Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
