One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
