I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
