i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
