Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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