i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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