I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
