Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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