I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize