its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He passed out mid-signature
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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